WHY would Power be a mystery, and even potentially, the mystery?
BECAUSE I can’t get over it: I am equally fascinated with it when I have it and when I don’t!
I want to know: what makes it that I would sometimes have “it” and sometimes not? Moreover, how can I insure that I’d never lose it? And right here is the bug to my Power program – in my quest for security! I am yet to have the courage to do the hardest thing ever: surrender my “free will” and the illusion of control that comes with it!
“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”
And it is wild! Sex is about Power (and Power about sex), because to fully enjoy either of them, I must let go of control and accept to be vulnerable. Indeed, if I am in my head, I can’t get NO satisfaction… I must surrender which, all together, is a very scary proposition… What if I did let go and still failed? And even scarier, what if I were to succeed in my creation?
WHY the fear of making errors?
BECAUSE I think I am the doer of the deed, either boasting with pride (look at me: am I not the best?) or wallowing in guilt (I shouldn’t have; bad me!)…
I create my own reality. I always did. My mind creates by making decisions. Yet, creating is not about finding a $100 bill on the sidewalk or a parking space on a busy street (although it is)… It is first and foremost about the way I look at “it:” what kind of reality do I choose to observe? Do I blame you, my parents, my partner, the system, “God” for my limitations? Should my life be lacking in the currency of pure joy, it may be time for me to inquire on what I believe, and WHY I chose to believe what I believe.
Could it be that, deep down, I don’t really feel that I belong? Do I think that I must fight to get what I need? I’m yet to know that my sense of separateness is as much an illusion as my attempting to force an outcome… But if I can’t make things happen and/or dominate anything, be it my thoughts, the way you feel about me or “the world,” then WHY bother?
The question soon leads me to the foundation of authentic Power: the admission of my Powerlessness. Namasté-no mistake: there are no accidents, which also says that I am not accidental! This felt sense, that I am enough, is a gift. And here is the next Mystery… My receiving of the sense of enough won’t happen because of my doing everything for it. It also won’t happen without my doing everything for it. Talk about a power play… I can’t make “IT” happen, even if my life depended on it (and it does) and I still must do all I can to have it!
Hear, hear: the deeper I go in the inquiry of who I think I am,
the smaller I get and the more dynamic I become.
Humility is big. It is big enough of a vacuum to absorb my misuse of Power. It will clear up any possible corruption incurred from yearning for prestige, wealth, knowledge, charm or strength. Humility is also sexy, as it opens the “faith wormhole” that connects distant versions of me instantaneously. Heck, today may just be the day when the version of me who is enough comes.